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Paraphrasing is a coaching superpower. Coaches use it as part of our active listening toolkit. It helps us connect and build trust. Learn why and how to incorporate paraphrasing in your work as a social leader.

Paraphrasing – What is it?

To paraphrase is to express the meaning of (the writer or speaker or something written or spoken) using different words, especially to achieve greater clarity.

Oxford Dictionary

Paraphrasing is using your own words to reflect back what someone has just told you. Think of it as providing a smart mirror to the other person.

Paraphrasing – Why?

Paraphrasing denotes empathy. Research shows that when you reflect a person’s meaning back to them, they feel that you truly listened. People sense that you are making an effort to understand them. It gives the person you are talking to a chance to clarify and find common ground. This shared understanding fosters trust. When people trust you, they are eager to collaborate with you. Isn’t that the goal of any social leader?

Paraphrasing – How?

Listen actively and wait until the other person pauses.

Start with a statement like “what I hear you saying is…” or “let me see if I understand…”. You can also paraphrase and end with “Is that right? Did I understand you correctly?”.

You may paraphrase either the content of the person’s words or the emotion behind them. A way to paraphrase emotion, for example, is to say “that sounds really frustrating” when a person is exasperated over a situation. Again, paraphrasing is about letting others know you are really listening.

You can also paraphrase to amplify. This means that you reflect the person’s point in a way that moves the conversation forward. For example, someone talks about feeling frustrated and stuck. A way to amplify is “Wow, feeling stuck can be so frustrating. Sounds like you are ready for action. What might that look like?”. Amplifying is powerful, but tricky. It requires practice.

Remember not to abuse your new paraphrasing super power! Paraphrasing too much in a conversation may stop the flow. It might also make the other person uncomfortable and doubt your authenticity.

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