This post is also available in: Spanish

Coaching skills are a great addition to your leadership arsenal. Coaches, for example, make very effective listeners. Want to connect better with your collaborators, employees or family? Then, listen like a coach. Here’s how:

Listen to Understand

People often “listen” without actually listening. They are just thinking about what they are going to say next. Have you ever done that? So, seek to understand what the other person is actually telling you. What are they telling you with their words and their body language? What are they NOT telling you?

Understanding does not necessarily mean agreement or disagreement. It is deep acceptance of the other person’s perspective.

Be Present

Quiet your mind and mute all internal and external background noise. Give the other person your undivided attention and make it obvious to them. Focus on feeling and telegraphing openness. Make sustained eye contact and keep an open expression on your face. Put away your smartphone and assume a relaxed yet alert stance.

Be Curious

Sometimes we forget that humans are fascinating creatures. Remember that the person in front of you is complex. Therefore, approach every conversation as an interesting experience. What can you learn? What is going on with that person? How can you help them? What new awareness can you create together?

Feel free to ask clarifying questions, but don’t go overboard. Listen more, talk less.

Don’t Judge

Managers are paid to judge. They judge markets, situations and people. Chances are, you are judging without even realizing it. Coaches listen actively and curiously, without judgment. It’s a tough skill to master but it makes all the difference in listening. This requires practice. Shut down your impulse to assess, diagnose and solve as you are listening. Take what the other person is telling you as what is, not what it should be or could be or might be. Understand first.

Enjoyed this Article?

Please comment and share this article with your network using the social media buttons below. You can also check out other articles in my blog. Don’t forget to subscribe to this site for exclusive offers and content. I respect my subscribers and their privacy. Thanks!