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We can change, if we have the desire and commitment to do so. How do we become our best selves? I recommend 3 steps: awareness, understanding and practice.

Who Are We, Anyway?

What does it mean “to be”? He he, I am getting a bit Shakespearean today! Our being, to a large extent, is made up of our perspectives, attitudes and values. These impact what we do and how we interact with others. Thus, we can boil down our being to a set of characteristics or attributes.

Although our being does a complex dance with our biology (genes and hormones) and our environment (culture, circumstances), it is not set in stone.

Start with Awareness

Awareness is the first step to change. We start by realizing that we want our lives to be different. This awareness is not about judging ourselves or beating ourselves up for our “shortcomings”. We need to open our minds to new possibilities, new ways of being. Awareness leads to learning, growth and, subsequently, transformation.

Understand the Change

The next step towards change is understanding where we are and where we want to go.

Figure out your Dream State

We need to understand our dream in order to become the people required to achieve it. So, what do we want to change in our life? What do we want to change in our community?

For example, our dream may be something like “I want to live in a plastic-free community”. Who do we need to BE to achieve that?

To DO, We First Need to BE

Most people think that, to change, we should run out and do stuff. That’s why many transformation efforts fail. They are too superficial. They ignore the fact that we have to first BECOME the person that lives the change. So, how do we do that?

Who do we need to be to achieve our dream? Well, it depends on our dream. Let’s use our example of “I want to live in a plastic-free community”. Who do we need to be to live in a plastic-free community? This has 2 components: living plastic-free ourselves and convincing our community to live plastic-free.

Research others, online or via conversations, living the dream to understand who they are. Which attributes lead to their success? In our example, we can study people who live plastic-free, as well as environmental activists. What are they like, in terms of perspective and attitude? We may find that people who live plastic-free need to be patient, creative, detail-oriented and persistent. If we look at environmental activists like Greta Thunberg, we may find they also tend to be outspoken, fearless, authentic and empathetic.

Answering the question “Who do we need to BE to achieve our dream?” gives us a list of attributes to strive for. This list is our guide towards lasting change.

Practice to Change

The final step in changing ourselves is practice. We can practice BEING, not just doing. We need to practice each of the attributes on our list of who we want to become. Our current strengths can help us in this process. Again, research is key. We are so fortunate to live in the digital information age. We can find “how-to’s” and exercises for anything! In our example, we want to become patient. Therefore, we can google “how to practice patience” and do the recommended exercises.

We should practice each characteristic intentionally for at least 8 weeks (some studies say that new habits take about 66 days to form). During that time, we are in learning and growth mode. We can try different exercises for each attribute, learning what works for us. We should be extra aware of our perspectives and reactions to reinforce new thought patterns. Through this process, we are transforming ourselves into the person we want to be.

Becoming our best selves is possible. It takes awareness, understanding and practice. Ready to start?

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